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PODCAST A to Z of Sex with Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey

Hear me on Dr Lori Beth Bisbey's The A to Z of Sex where she works her way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time.  We cover the "Q" and discuss Queer. This podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones.  It will be available on her site for listening at your convenience.  Find it HERE

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Coaching Philosophy - not just for relationships but for life!

 

“Games are for children, strict ‘Rules’ are for prisoners and competition is for dogs and horses”

Games are for children. 

There are some relationship experts who offer fool proof templates, pick up lines and formulaic responses to unique human emotions.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for “play”, flirtation and some strategic moves in creating connections with other people.  My question is when we approach intimate connection as simply a “game” are we really looking to forge meaningful and respectful interactions or are we looking to create winners and losers? 

‘Rules’ are for prisoners.

In my practice there is only one person who makes the rules and that is YOU!  I believe it is important to find a trusted professional to give guidance and encourage healthy behaviors but I am dubious of a one-size-fits-all approach.  Don’t be a prisoner to philosophies that discourage you from looking taking a deep look within your own heart and exploring what works best for you.   None of us are truly free of the societal, familial and individual pressures placed upon us.  Allow yourself to consume the conventional advice but disregard “wisdom” that feels plain wrong.

Competition is for dogs and horses.

Competing with others can lead to frustration, sabotage progress and create existential anxiety.  Existential anxiety - yes I went there.  You should be competing with yourself to be YOUR best self.  Push past your perceived limitations and challenge yourself to be braver, kinder and more loving to yourself and ultimately others.  And if someone wants to engage you in a fight to end to capture someone else’s heart – watch ‘em get smoked by their own ego.

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Oddo FULLY FUNDED Kickstarter Success!

So happy to repost that the Oddo underwear project reached its kickstarter goal ! It has been an absolute pleasure working with founder Shira Wheeler and her amazing team on this.  Can't wait to see how this innovation of starting vital conversations about sexual health and pleasure with beautiful, good-for-you, 100% cotton underwear. <3

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Personal ads: pre tinder dating in NYC

Long ago when I was a matchmaker's assistant I wrote personal ads that ran in NYMag and yes actually for one "Richard Gere look-a-like" (btw did not look like Richard Gere at all just had a full head of grey hair)... Must find my own to share!

Check out this New York Magazine article out for a giggle.  Historical archives of dating in NYC from the pre Tinder days.

http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/04/best-personal-ads-from-new-york-magazine.html

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Datingdictionary.com

The lovely folks at datingdictionary.com have asked me to be a  featured expert click here. 

Datingdictionary is an online community where users of dating sites can compare experiences using the internet to find love.  There is also a component of it that is similar to urban dictionary where individuals are encouraged to share their favorite dating terms.   

There are some very familiar terms defined such as "kiss and tell" and some that are very much of this time such as "tindering"...

Enjoy and feel free to contribute some of your favorite terms.

Best,

S

www.datingdictionary.com

www.datingdictionary.com

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My philosophy

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My philosophy

Games are for children, strict ‘Rules’ are for inmates and competition is for dogs and horses.

I believe that love and maintaining satisfying relationships is one part 

Art; what others call the ‘work’.

Another part Science; biology, physiology, and psychology.

The last part something Ethereal; the inexplicable.

 

There are no shortcuts in that you will absolutely have to love yourself first!

 

Isla de lobos, Fuertenventura

Isla de lobos, Fuertenventura

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