The discomfort you feel from communicating a long overlooked desire, need or boundary to another person pales in comparison to the discomfort of holding it in eventually brings. When we keep ourselves from speaking up because its “not a big deal” or we “don’t want to bother” or are afraid of “seeming like too much” - it can become a bigger deal than it is, it can start to bother us and get to be way too much - so much that we sometimes explode on the people in our lives.
We think by not expressing ourselves we are making things easier for ourselves and the people in our lives but this behavior comes back to bite us. The clean up can be brutal if the only way we finally let people know whats on our hearts/mind results in a blow up. Whats more is that we can also use the time we don’t speak up to start nurturing resentment that can turn into contempt which is very harmful for relationships. It can also create anxiety and depression.
Learning how to communicate is a skill and can be learned at anytime. When the moment has passed it can feel awkward bring things up. If you are worried about your delivery start thinking of kind ways that you can bring up what needs attention. If you find yourself stopping yourself for addressing issues and making assumptions about how the other person will react, gently bring yourself to the present moment and get curious about how sharing what you need to share could build greater understanding between you and the other person.
