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Here's Some Advice If You Met the Right Person at the Wrong Time

Featured expert for Cosmopolitan read it here.

‘Relationship coach Shula Melamed agrees that apart from chemistry, attraction, and a shared taste in takeout, timing is a super integral part of a serious relationship. “Sometimes [people] don't have the bandwidth to commit to a relationship or we are in a different phase of life than the person we love/that loves us,” says Melamed. “We can fall in love with a lot of different people, but they aren't always going to be the people we can build a life with.”’

‘Melamed confirms that “if the connection is still there when the timing lines up, it can be an incredible opportunity to see what can happen."‘

‘Melamed says, you’re best bet is to be optimistic but still realistic. Don’t pass up your dream job or a chance to move somewhere you’ve always wanted to live because you’re waiting for the timing to maybe eventually work out. “Live your life and if things happen to align later, fabulous,” Melamed says. “Don't wait around and shut yourself from other opportunities.”’

‘Melamed notes that being super connected to someone isn’t always enough to make it work. You have to both want the same type of relationship and be in a place to have that relationship. ‘

‘“There are many ‘ones’” Melamed says. “Love is not a finite resource. When you open yourself to the possibilities of life, you will find this to be true.”’


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17 Funny Things To Text Your Friends When They're Having A Bad Day

Featured expert for Bustle read it here.

‘"When someone we love is sad, it can be tempting to take it upon ourselves to try and figure out all the ways that we can help alleviate it," Shula Melamed, MA, MPH, relationship and well-being coach, tells Bustle. "This can be particularly tough for folks who have more of a tendency toward codependence."‘

If you want to fix all your friends’ problems, you may rush to solutions when you hear they’re having a bad day. While your friend may want your help, sometimes offering some light-hearted words can make them feel better in the moment. If you’re looking to brighten a friend’s day.

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16 Texts To Send A Roommate With Anxiety

Featured expert for Bustle read it here.

‘According to Shula Melamed, MA, MPH, and relationship coach, tells Bustle, it’s important to validate your roommate’s feelings, while letting them decide how they want you to support them. Rather than trying to fix all their problems or assuming what they need, letting them know your there lets them take the lead.’

‘When someone has anxiety, day-to-day tasks like shopping for groceries or toiletries can be extra difficult. Melamed notes that offering to grab an extra thing of toothpaste or a box of cereal can be supportive.’

‘As Melamed shares, when living with someone with anxiety, you may start to feel like their anxiety is taking over the space, or that you need to be on eggshells in your own home. While its important to be compassionate to your roommate, giving them space and setting some healthy boundaries can nip any potential resentment from happening.’

‘If you and your roomie like to spend time together, Melamed says that picking up dinner or going out of your way to do an act of service for them can help them feel cared for. If you aren’t super besties, doing a little chore around the house like finally cleaning the refrigerator produce can show you care with your actions.’

‘If you’re close to your roommate, Melamed encourages you to actively listen without offering solutions or trying to process.’

‘“If they start ruminating (the process of continually repeating thought that trigger the anxiety), gently point out to them that they are entering this spiral of thinking,” Melamed says. If your roommate is starting to spiral, let them know you care about them and encourage them to take it easy and take care of themselves.’

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Coronavirus Has Signaled A Cuffing Pre-Season

Featured expert for Bustle read it here.

‘According to Shula Melamed, MA, MPH, relationship coach, traditional "cuffing season," or finding a date to shack up with through winter, is historically brought on by the threat of cold weather. "The cold affecting your emotions can make you less motivated to socialize and get out," Melamed tells Bustle. "You find yourself in hibernation mode and not focused on creating novelty or new experiences for yourselves. You might also settle for a less than thrilling relationship because you want to be snuggled down."‘

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