A few techniques and strategies and habits to keep the communication flowing in your relationships. Good communication is the cornerstone of thriving relationships, these skills can be learned and are an investment in your relational happiness/success. (2 is more for intimate relationships/couples but 1 & 3 can work for a variety of relationships)
1. Success and Challenge check in.
At the end of the day take some time to share some of the highlights and lowlights of your day. This not only gets the individual sharing to be mindful of the good and the not so good in the day but it gives one's partner a better sense of what the other goes through in the day, what they are grateful for and where they are feeling stuck. One of the rules for engagement here is to be sure to allow the other person to share without interruption. Getting as well as receiving social support can reduce stress levels which supports over all wellbeing. Listening and sharing is a win - win!
2. Non verbal communication exercise.
Communication is not only about what you say to each other the language of the body and touch are incredibly important tools to remember to use. Put your phone away, shut the laptop and turn off the TV. Get into whatever embrace feels the most comfortable and accessible to you - standing hug, forehead to forehead gaze, laying spoons. Take 7 deep breaths together to sync up your breathing and take the opportunity to just breathe with your partner. Aslo when you are physically close there is a release of the hormone oxytocin from your brain’s pituitary gland. It is also known as the "love hormone" and has been shown to reduce anxiety.
3. Do you want me to listen or do you want advice?
This is an in the moment communication boosting exercise/consideration for couples. When a partner comes to you with grievances about something going on for them simply ask them "Do you want me to listen or are you needing help coming up with a solution?". Sometimes we just want to be heard and when someone starts giving unsolicited advice it can slide directly into unwanted advice and a feeling of not being heard. Make it a practice to ask your partner what they are seeking at that moment. Unsolicited advice can lead to non productive conflict and frustration for both parties.
